well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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