I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize