when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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