I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
