I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
