No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
