Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
