It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
