You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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