I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
