I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
