Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
