I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
