Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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