who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
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I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
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I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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