Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
handjob tips. give me some.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize