Your tits are I can't wait for
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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