My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
