I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
