hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize