like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
