I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
