I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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