idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
