What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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