Cold hands, warm shart.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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