is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
