My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
