I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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