somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
