Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
