you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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