I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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