she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
