hell yes lets make some ravioli
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
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deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
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There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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