Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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