She is in my trunk
okay pat passed out under dana's car
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
