After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
