I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
