Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
