Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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