Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
