she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
