I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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