I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
