DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
