I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
