i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
