In the future we'll all be gay
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
don't judge my taste in strippers
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
