I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
