alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
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It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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