Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
