There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
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