as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
