when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
