i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You're like the curious george of whores
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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