At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
