I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
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I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
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Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.