Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?