Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  hot girl, 5 o clock

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  do you know how to read a clock?

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  (630): hot girl, 5 o clock (1-630): do you know how to read a clock? http://tfl.nu/x1wt
  Replies (17) Good night (1537) Bad night (3055)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?

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  (253): is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator? http://tfl.nu/votk
  Replies (50) Good night (1760) Bad night (8836)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...

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  (304): apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training... http://tfl.nu/a5eu
  Replies (36) Good night (4285) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.

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  (204): He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina. http://tfl.nu/1ygc
  Replies (30) Good night (5917) Bad night (1942)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.

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  (920): Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out. http://tfl.nu/bwpe
  Replies (7) Good night (1591) Bad night (4726)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  We shouldn"t be alone together

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  you didn"t say that yesterday

  (813): View more from Florida

  you weren't married yesterday

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  (813): We shouldn"t be alone together (606): you didn"t say that yesterday (813): you weren't married yesterday http://tfl.nu/oykj
  Replies (41) Good night (1975) Bad night (9162)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?

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  (575): So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation? http://tfl.nu/oofw
  Replies (17) Good night (5886) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser

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  (585): you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser http://tfl.nu/abu5
  Replies (5) Good night (2247) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.

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  (717): I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees. http://tfl.nu/sibe
  Replies (4) Good night (1553) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?

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  (785): Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right? http://tfl.nu/9mi0
  Replies (19) Good night (2170) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away

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  (541): There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away http://tfl.nu/55q1
  Replies (1) Good night (546) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.

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  (760): I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube. http://tfl.nu/kpp6
  Replies (7) Good night (704) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die

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  (306): but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die http://tfl.nu/3cnv
  Replies (4) Good night (1075) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.

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  (870): I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad. http://tfl.nu/fd99
  Replies (0) Good night (322) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..

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  (+45): I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love".. http://tfl.nu/xnfz
  Replies (1) Good night (520) Bad night (338)

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