you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
