Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him

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  (407): he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him http://tfl.nu/igzq
  Replies (36) Good night (961) Bad night (6090)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot

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  (214): I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot http://tfl.nu/eus9
  Replies (14) Good night (4689) Bad night (1249)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.

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  (918): i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break. http://tfl.nu/35mv
  Replies (65) Good night (9908) Bad night (840)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth

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  (631): i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth http://tfl.nu/bjm9
  Replies (16) Good night (1059) Bad night (4347)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time

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  (216): i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time http://tfl.nu/lu1w
  Replies (1) Good night (2347) Bad night (868)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.

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  (505): His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left. http://tfl.nu/dyjo
  Replies (6) Good night (2981) Bad night (1015)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.

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  (260): I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much. http://tfl.nu/tatw
  Replies (5) Good night (1097) Bad night (569)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?

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  (248): Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya? http://tfl.nu/gd64
  Replies (5) Good night (1200) Bad night (508)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.

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  (206): I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling. http://tfl.nu/5feo
  Replies (6) Good night (1347) Bad night (659)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile

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  (570): Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile (1-570): FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile http://tfl.nu/2z1a
  Replies (0) Good night (1104) Bad night (380)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face

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  (403): I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face http://tfl.nu/maqf
  Replies (2) Good night (850) Bad night (330)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Do one night stands count towards my number?

  (516): View more from New York

  Yes. A penis is a penis

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Even bad ones?

  (516): View more from New York

  YES.

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  (217): Do one night stands count towards my number? (516): Yes. A penis is a penis (217): Even bad ones? (516): YES. http://tfl.nu/iyle
  Replies (0) Good night (743) Bad night (490)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me

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  (+44): Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me http://tfl.nu/bng3
  Replies (0) Good night (441) Bad night (799)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking

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  (347): I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking http://tfl.nu/ima1
  Replies (2) Good night (466) Bad night (260)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.

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  (618): hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that. http://tfl.nu/6u8h
  Replies (2) Good night (348) Bad night (231)

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