I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
