Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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