that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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